I just snapped this image of the Shakyamuni Buddha figure I got from Asheville's Himalayan Imports. They import directly from Nepal. A string of synchronicities surround my attainment of it. Essentially Goat led me here. I've come to believe Goat is among many things, synonymous with the demon Mara. Mara could easily be represented by Atu 15, The Devil, Lord of the Gates of Matter, Child of the forces of Time. The Demiurge. Hades. Anubis. Thanatos. Eros - in the Platonic sense of Eros as a daemonic force in the world. In fact, in Buddhism, Mara is known as the adversary to enlightenment, and specifically Siddartha's.
I am quite shaken with these revelations. I could elaborate at length on my experience with Goat and Dark Venus, which was July 15 of 2016 - a bit over a year ago. It seems daily that experience unfolds the more. It could have been nothing other than initiation.
Crowley said that Satan teaches initiation by his role of being the adversary. It's his job. And this notion is quite Calvinistic. Luther said the Devil is God's Devil. Evil is purposed, ordained.
What just happened was that for the first time since purchasing the Buddha - which at the time I did not know was the Bhumisparsha Buddha - the Earth Witness Buddha - I lit some Aryuvedic incense and sat down in this pose, this mudra.
At first I was flooded with worries. In fact I was feeling quite heartbroken as the Hour of the Moon came. Since learning about the Earth mudra, I knew that I could not have picked a better Buddha for myself. I am a Capricorn, cardinal Earth.
I visualized my worries transferring down from my left nostril to my open palm, then coursing over to my right hand, which acted as a grounding wire. As I did this, my thoughts quietened. I thought of the God name from the Middle Pillar vibrated at the Malkuth Sphere - the Earth Sphere - Adonai Haaretz. And then peace came to me. I heard all around me the noises of the earth. My window fan. The crickets. I thought of the nature of the element of Earth. I felt its coldness, its depth, and became aware of all that it brought forth - all of the rich summer growth, all of the green that surrounds me in the mountains of Asheville. As my hand touched the ground I felt part of this, not separate. I continued to breath and to silently vibrate Adonai Haaretz in my mind. The name means Lord of the Earth. Psalm 24:1 states "the earth is the LORD’s and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein." Out of the habits of my youth I said within myself, "My God", and I immediately knew there was no disconnect within myself from True Christianity. In fact, through a long circuit of disappointment, heartache and criticism from Christians, here I was, having some sort of mystical experience with God.
And at that I opened my eyes. I reached for my iPod to check the time. Its backlit screen seemed harsh and unnatural. I thought of how much time I spend on it when I could be spending time in the place that I had just come from. But I had to know more about this Buddha and his mudra.
I googled and learned that this is Siddartha, at the moment Mara revealed himself along with his demons in an attempt to prevent Siddartha's enlightenment, claiming the throne of enlightenment as his own, all his demons his witness. Mara then asked who there was to be witness to Siddartha's enlightenment. Siddartha touched the Earth and a cry was heard from her: "I am your witness". Mara and his demons immediately disappeared and Siddartha became the Buddha.
This story would mean little to nothing to me had I not just had the experience in meditation I had, along with the revelation of what Goat is. I honestly am astonished at this moment. After so many years of searching I knew that Goat was the most real thing I'd ever experienced. But why was it so terrifying and what did it all mean?
What it meant is that I have searched so long and hard for a path, for authenticity, for something real, something meaningful in this world, and I suddenly find myself with that. It is a thing that has been walked out most intensely on this blog and podcast. I wonder that, because it being of such a personal nature, if anyone could ever understand. And I think of Jung's Liber Novus and the stunning authenticity there and how people - myself - understand him and have been powerfully inspired to begin seeking their own soul, their own way. One thing I know. There is no course, no book, no teacher of these things. But if you begin the quest, a teacher will appear. Perhaps in a demonic form. Perhaps in a form you would have never guessed. Perhaps the teacher is you. As your senses become awakened, as your eyes gain sight, your ears gain hearing, new life begins to take place from within you, and the Earth herself bears witness to it.